You Would Think I Would Learn

Apparently, I am a very slow learner. Usually I have a pretty fast learning curve, but I have noticed that in certain situations, I make the same ridiculous move over and over again. Maybe this is something I accept just to keep life interesting. Or it is the definition of insanity....which in my case is a higher likelihood.

Last weekend was the opening of Casino Royale, the latest James Bond installment. Attempting to be clever, we bought tickets early for a late show, thinking it was a perfect plan to bum around the mall and head to the theater with an hour to spare before the show started...and plenty of time to score the perfect unobstructed view in a set of moderately non-sticky seats.

This is not the first time I've had this brilliant plan.

It's also not the first time I've completely botched it for no good reason whatsoever.

Yes, for at least the third or fourth (or tenth) time, I inadvertently decided to be fashionably late or something and arrived just in time to score the seat in the front row, which dictates that you spend two-and-a-half hours with your neck cranked at an 85-degree angle with eyes darting back and forth in a futile attempt to see the entire screen at once.

How could I commit this travesty over and over? It's like burning my tongue every single flippin' time I am presented with hot food or liquid of any kind. No matter how many times I warn myself first or am cautioned by present company. Or bang my head on open cabinet doors in my kitchen. Or hit mailboxes with my Jeep. (Note: to my defense, it's been awhile since I hit anything stationary... or un-stationary, for that matter.) Why? Why do I do this? I should learn my lesson!

If You Really Knew Me

I saw something on TV where people were asked to finish the sentence "If you really knew me, you would know...." As it's been awhile since my last post, and for a lack of "al-style craziness" lately, I decided to post some endings to this sentence. If you really knew me, you would know...

...that I am truthful, benevolent, and well-intentioned...

...except when I'm feeling a little devilish ;-)

...that I screen my calls during "Prison Break", NBA playoff games, American Idol, and Oprah.

...that I am incapable of restraining myself and my Visa if there are pearls or purses nearby.

...that I can kick your A...I took krav maga last year.

...that I am a master at looking like I know what I'm doing!

...that I am the baby of the family...and everything that entails.

...that the best way to motivate me is to tick me off.

...that I cry during "Extreme Home Makeover". (Doesn't everybody?)

...that I am a true optimist...despite my tendencies to panic and/or pace.

...that there are very few things I won't try...outside of skydiving, sushi, and skinny-dipping.

...that I am sassy, head-strong, and passionate. (one step shy of crazy, right?)

...that I love my life, my family, my friends, and my Heavenly Father.

...that I hate sarcasm, cold-calling, traffic, and those freakin' Head-On commercials.

...that I adore this blog and the fact that everyone who reads it finds me at least mildly entertaining. ;-)

Your turn to finish that sentence!